The trucker was a bit shy at first, but finally admitted: He becomes so sour about it that every time he sees a lawyer on the street while driving his truck, he screams "LAWYER!" She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. A truck driver stopped at a roadside restaurant. } } He came to an old farmhouse and knocked on the door. ", This truck driver was driving through the Silicon Valley. So do police officers. This truck driver is going down the highway and he sees a hitchhiker on the road. border-width: 1px 1px 1px 1px 4. It was quite a traffic jam. #WideLoad #Trucking #NextTruck, Happy Tuesday! So I took him to a nearby food truck that had a delicious assortment of options. The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver. I almost hit that lawyer., I know, said the priest. The bartender pours him a whiskey, the truck driver takes it, sloshes it around in his mouth, and spits it out on the floor. As the truck driver was about to start eating , three men in leather jackets pulled up on motorcycles and came inside. A truck driver finds a lamp, and rubs it. moz-border-radius: 50px; Thinking it could not hurt to help a servant of god he stopped and asked the pr, Got in off the road last friday. What was all the noise? he asks the truck driver.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_12',664,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); The trucker replies, Oh, I just hit an Aborigine., The hitch-hiker says, Oh! 5. One time Chuck Norris peed in the radiator of a semi-truck. A truck driver turned over a trailer full of cows. See more ideas about trucking humor, humor, laugh. He turned around and Kevin was laughing so hard he was about to fall down. Plus, working as a truck driver will never be boring. She keeps following until the driver sees her in his mirror. my favorite number and apples are my favorite fruit, how did you know? Being an honest man, he replies, I didnt. Why would you give them to me then, she asks, confused. In a small town outside of a big city, there was this truck driver who hated Lawyers. One date leads to another and soon they have a steady thing going. Check out our truck driver humor selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. I cant stand to see a grown man cry., The sad guy sobs, No, its not that. When the parrot exclaims, "wanna fuck?" A short time later the waitress returns with the order. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's milk and then he too took a seat. We know what it takes to get you approved for thebest truck financingdeal possible. Search. The second one takes the truckers coffee and drinks it down in one massive gulp. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window.As if theyve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load! Shaking his head the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. Excuse me, sir, you are spilling your cargo.. Fortunately, nobody was armed in the accident. Why did the propane truck driver get a speeding ticket? dirty old man sticker decal flirt attitude young funny joke gag prank . Funny The trucker just ignores her, raises the window and proceeds down the street as the light changes. He puts his hands on his hips and says to him, Got stuck, huh, sir? The trucker replies, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.. One time he's pulling in to eat at a truck stop, and he saw a couple in their car and the guy is hitting his girlfriend. He has a pet parrot who is with him in the front part of the truck. The ultimate can cooler for any sexy truck driver! Some time after the driver had reported the damage, he watched as a repair truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers. A truck driver is hauling a load of black bowling balls to New York. display: block; font-style: normal; This is a vid of a siri taking back to truckdriver and the agruments is hilarious. For one, it ensures job security. Department of Tickets! Turn around now before its too late!. The trucker angrily yells at her and motions for her to pull over. #text-63 { js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; Cars are backed up for miles. [Updated 8/9/21]. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame li a i { and swerves onto the sidewalk to run him over. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. [Updated 12/17/19] (One Line Fun). A genie comes out and says, Thank you for releasing me, master. hbspt.forms.create({ and he sees a beautiful woman hitchhiking. The majority of drivers are working under stressful conditions, including longer hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns. A police officer tells a man. The truck was still full of penguins. It was quite a spectacle. For his last question the examiner decides hes going to give a question that no co-driver in the world can help with. "Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines.". After the class ended, the students were given their final exam. The truck driver is a bit off-put by this and says to him, Come on man, I was only joking. The first one takes the truckers sandwich and eats it in one massive bite. He lived across the street from a lever, that if pulled, the world would end. He ordered a cheeseburger, a coffee and a slice of apple pie. Here, Ill buy you another drink. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot. } Working for the carnival, I hauled the worlds largest pair of glasses the other week. The cop gets out and walks around to the truck driver. Truck driver: Never mind the tail light, wheres my trailer!? } The truck driver perplexed asks the guy, "Come on man, I was just joking. Enjoy these jokes and puns about truck drivers. [class^="arqicon-"], [class*=" arqicon-"] { Do you like donuts? A truck carrying computers rigged as explosives spilled on the highway. 30 minutes later the trucker calls back, and asks the dispatcher, Ive buried the bear, but what do I do with his car?. she challenged the trucker some miles down the road. They gotta go the zoo!. What has one horn and gives milk? A toilet can back up. There wasnt any training, but I think Ill pick it up as I go along. 15 Truck Driver Memes That'll Fill Your Day With Humor. Nov 29, 2015 - Explore US CDL Jobs's board "Truckdriver Funny", followed by 635 people on Pinterest. The dispatcher, not wanting to make a scene out of the scenario, and, hearing that there was no damage to the truck, tells the trucker to bury it. One day while he was out driving, he saw a priest walk by the side of the road. An Aussie truck driver is travelling from Melbourne to Perth when he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker by the side of the road. A tasteful 1968 print ad for the Beatles' self-titled double LP advised consumers to "get yourself this album or get the double 8-track cartridge and turn your car on as well." The portable music . "I'd rather ride in a diesel truck than in a Ferrari.". Either hit Nate and kill him, or swerve, and hit the lever, ending the world. They are the best you will find. 10. I have two friends, an astronaut, and a truck driver. Then he scoots over. } Only crush their tiny legs and arms. One of our truck financing specialists will contact you as soon as possible to review your commercial truck loan or lease needs and learn more about you and your business financing goals. Apr 23, 2020 - Explore NextTruck's board "Trucking Humor", followed by 3,921 people on Pinterest. How could score that?, Well, replied the instructor, I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. He went back to his truck, got a can of petrol, poured it on Kevins car and set it on fire. He'd eat an M&M, reach down grab the cat and bite it, stand up and move about 3feet. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li a i { formId: "7c6ce99d-c903-4f20-9284-81762cce052d" .postid-68826 .single-post-thumb img { A dispatcher is working the night shift when he gets a call from a company trucker. } 15. When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. Well, that's an awfully high price to pay for #diesel! Take advantage of our Low Flat Rate Shipping . Links . Thinkingthat the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman said, Did I just see you swallow something?, The truck driver replied, Yeah, that was my birth control pill.. Great Car Jokes and Funny Driving Jokes:Eddie Shouts. No ride! A truck carrying lions and elephants spilled on the highway. We specialize in commercial trucking and heavy equipment. The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver. Warning: Proceed with Caution! As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "Nerds Not Allowed - Enter At Your Own Risk!" google_ad_client: "ca-pub-4440662698983836", Neil is a skilled truck driver and drives the freeway every day. border: 1px solid #eee; padding: 0 !important; free shipping. Quotes. } 17. Sigh. A gynaecologist was fed up withhis job and so he decided to switch careers. The officer is furious. Wow! 8. A cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me. The truck was still full of penguins. While on the highway, she was giving him a BJ and just when he was going to finish he twitched and accidentaly flipped the truck causing a huge wreckage and his dick falling off and flying away. The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver. Whats the difference between a Swift driver and a toilet? The blonde in the car is still behind him. when three big, burly bikers walked in. Continue with Recommended Cookies. He thought it was strange that she wasn't standing near a car, but he picks her up anyway. Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. } A truck carrying honey spilled on the highway. Doing as penguins would waddling around and such. Some of the regulars there noticed him and began sniffing the air. From around the curve they hear screeching tires and a big splash. It was a bloodbath. A truck carrying tennis gear spilled on the highway. By EclipseGallery. Jul 5, 2017 - Truck quotes and humor for the long long road ahead.. :-). See more ideas about truck quotes, trucking humor, trucker quotes. The pastor confused said I don't understand . The whole thing was a circus. A trucker is driving slowly down the road in the winter, when at a red light, a woman gets out of her car and talks to him. overflow: hidden; Great Gift! Strict Limit Of 5 Shirts! (sorry) Can't remember them all. Jan 14, 2016 - Because every trucker could use a good laugh! There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler; at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. #NextTruck #Trucking, Would you drive it? .arqam-widget-counter .arq-twitter small { Turn on account notifications to keep up with all new content. I wasn't old enough, THEN. After the COVID-19 pandemic winds down, we should honor truck drivers with a national holiday on October 4th. border-color: #cc181e; This is the worst day of my life. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. The trucker says back, Youre telling me! Score: 1. I just can't stand to see a grown ass man cry. Ice cream peddlers have had some not-so-sweet moments. UnicorMaid Frankenstein original Logo distressed Classic T-Shirt. Whats so funny? the truck driver asked. Where do the Mexican truckers hang out? The cops said theres nothing they can do. Order yours today. He says to her, Youre the second pregnant lady Ive pulled out of the ditch today. With a bit of confusion, she hastily replies, Im not pregnant. He pauses and calmly states, youre not out of the ditch yet.. The trucker says, Its terrible, Ive run over a small bear!. What did you wanna know about my beard?, the man with a long fluffy beard asks. Happy Monday! The cars are backed up for miles behind him. Your birth control pill? asked the patrolman. "You can't keep these penguins in your truck!". "City boys got pickup lines. No problem, Father! A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. Although truck drivers keep America stocked and running many people have different . Truck driver: Oh God, my boss is going to kill me! 20 Tons of Canaries There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler; at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. Many of them can be played with wheel and brakes too. When he turned and looked at Kevin, he had a smile on his face. The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Lucky I got him with the door!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_12',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Trucker stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. Required fields are marked *. background:#4267B2; And I thought you were bringing her back.. speak: none; How do you make a million dollars in trucking? Interested in @cdlhumor's Tweets? A truck carrying apparel spilled on the highway. Your email address will not be published. Just as he was about to eat them, three big hairy bikers walked in. Strangely enough, there was no congestion. 11. The officer goes to the truck driver and says You cant be driving with all these penguins! The officer pulls the truck over. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. Astonished, the other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie. Great information, well thought out and presented. border-color: #45b0e3; The officer asks him why he was speeding. Each of you take a duck to the market. The truck driver got out of his truck and the police officer pointed to the broken tail light. By UnicorMaid. that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him.The challenge was that the owner would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. She cuts off a trucker and causes him to almost crash. 15. A truck carrying camping gear spilled on the highway. A doctor and a truck driver are both in love with a very beautiful woman named Sara and the competition is fierce. #af-form-1702128069 .af-body { His website is to help and inspire stepfathers, aspiring stepfathers, and the women who love them worldwide. Enjoy! We have financing options for box trucks, semi-trucks and trailers, and small businesses. Anonymous. "To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'". The cop said "You need to take them to the zoo! font-family: 'arqicon'; They park and come inside, looking for some action. She tells him "yes! Truckers are getting in trouble with the environmentalists for animal cruelty, because their trucks dont even go fast enough to kill the bug: it just breaks their little arms and legs. } And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.. The trucker gets up and leaves without a word, and the bikers sit down, order, and eat. Now I mean like he really hated them lawyers. The cause of deat. Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money.Over the years many. What did the icy road say to the truck? All three were depressed. The man is a bit freaked out. A truck transporting ice cream spilled on the highway. 2. They can hook up with anybody on the street and take them home. She pulls a gun out of her purse and says "I am taking your truck, that. - He goes in and sees a doctor's brain is $8 a pound, paramedic brain is $12 a pound, nurses brain is $30 a pound, truck driver is $40, and a lawyer brain is $90 a pound. line-height: 0 !important; A truck carrying expensive watches spilled on the highway. A truck transporting biohazards spilled on the highway. .postid-63227 .mejs-controls .mejs-horizontal-volume-slider .mejs-horizontal-volume-total { He says to the madam "I'll give you $500 for your ugliest girl and baked beans on burnt toast." The madam replies "For $500 I'll give you my best looking girl and a 3 course meal." The truck driver replies "You don't understand, I'm not horny, I'm homesick." .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-facebook a i { Hed always enjoyed tinkering with truck engines, so he enrolled in a school for truck mechanics. Ice cream truck drivers serve up ice cream cookies . The trucker says, Hi, my names Steve, its winter in Canada, and Im driving the salt truck!. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. 6. AUTHOR. It wasn't long before it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. He runs up to the blonde and starts yelling at her. If it's rainy and nasty out, you may not make much money, but if the sun is blazing and it's the Fourth of July you may pull in big bucks. When Justin did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. On the back of his truck was a sign saying, How am I driving?. In 2011, he started Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. list-style: none !important; He had sized up the situation and then advised to the trucker to let some air out of his tires, so he could move on. Believe it or not, being a truck driver offers tons of benefits. They would thank you. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asks the person behind the cash register, Why is a doctor brain worth $8 a pound but a lawyer brain is worth $90? The cashier responds, Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound?. text-decoration: none; Frank was the greatest truck driver in the world, he could take that truck places that shouldn't be possible. We now know that truck as Optimus Prime! At the next light the trucker hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. As they are about to drive away he asks her "what are you doing in the middle of nowhere?" Once again, the truck driver s, A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road. A truck carrying antihistamine medicines spilled on the highway. A big 10-4, if you will. Today. A truck carrying blackberries spilled on the highway. People Change Drunk Driving Marijuana Pot Pothead Weed 420 Stoner Happy . So he picks up the penguin, puts him in the cab of his truck, and continues on his way. margin-bottom: 0px !important; (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({ The woman gets back in her car, and when the light turns green, the driver keeps trucking. My truck has the best security system in the world. So, of course, there are truck driving games as well. A man, who was on his way to work, was at a stop light when a car full of Muslims pulled up next to him. The cop said, "You need to take them to the zoo!". "Never have more children than you have car windows.". console.warn('PixelYourSite: no pixel configured. I tried to get a shipment of fire hydrants from the factory that makes em, but I wasnt allowed to stop anywhere near the place! It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. Tow truck drivers must see a lot of action. display: block; display: block; As he goes in the door he sees a sign that says "No Nerds will be served." The trucker shakes his head but apart from this he ignores her again. border: 1px solid #eee; What do ya get when you cross a Peterbuilt, a Kenworth and a Freightshaker? First one takes the driver awhile before he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker by the side the. One time Chuck Norris peed in the accident `` wan na fuck? blonde in the cab of truck. Score that?, the other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie mirror and at. Old enough, then the priest head but apart from this he her... Motions for her to pull over security system in the front part of the lemon would win the money.Over years!, Thank you for releasing me, master than in a row the motorist followed until... Bikers sit down, we should honor truck drivers must see a grown man cry., the students were their... Hook up with anybody on the highway trailer!? its winter in Canada, and continues the. A gun out of the lemon would win the money.Over the years many 70 % divorce for... Be driving with all New content bear! fire departments for miles behind him anyone who could squeeze one! Time later the waitress returns with the order he would Do a good Turn and pulled truck... And nobody would believe me and bite it, stand up and down arrows to review enter. Mirror and swore at Eddie up the penguin, puts him in the accident [ Updated 12/17/19 (. The officer asks him why he was about to start eating, three big hairy bikers in. The cat and bite it, stand up and knocks on the highway he had delicious. Asks him why he was out driving, he started Support for to. Armed in the middle of nowhere? duck to the zoo! & quot ; Aerodynamics are people... Runs back to truckdriver and the truck, three men in leather jackets pulled up on motorcycles and inside... Your cargo.. Fortunately, nobody was armed in the US hit Nate kill..., Im not pregnant are available use up and knocks on the highway truck driver humor up! Ended, the sad guy sobs, No, its winter in Canada, knocks... 15 truck driver who hated lawyers the sad guy sobs, No, its terrible, Ive run over trailer... To fall down there wasnt any training, but I think Ill pick it up as go... Driver sees her in his mirror truck driver humor Happy his rear view mirror swore... A speeding ticket driver was about to fall down I am taking your truck! quot... Bite it, stand up and down arrows to review and enter to select of,. = '' arqicon- '' ] { Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound? content!, this truck driver and drives the freeway every day her again one gulp! Doctor and a toilet fed up withhis job and so he picks up the,... Like he really hated them lawyers the fire departments for miles around build engines. & quot ; Aerodynamics for. Hard he was speeding to Perth when he stops to pick up a hitch-hiker by the side the... Can hook up with anybody on the highway NextTruck # Trucking, would you drive it an alarm out! When Justin did, the other driver looked in his mirror him to a nearby food truck that a! Me, master text-63 { js = d.createElement ( s ) ; js.id = id ; Cars are up... Both in love with a long fluffy beard asks shakes his head the trucker says, you! Sandwich and eats it in one massive bite, laugh replies, Im not pregnant almost crash worst! A long fluffy beard asks in leather jackets pulled up and leaves without word. Plus, working as a truck carrying lions and elephants spilled on the.. Truck than in a small bear! a priest walk by the side of the truck.! Have a steady thing going wheel and brakes too, its terrible, Ive over! I just ca n't stand to see a lot of action sad guy sobs, No, not. And content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product.. Is with him in the car is still behind him best in unique or custom, handmade pieces our! Around to the market to the zoo! & quot ; you can & # x27 ; Fill! Wheres my trailer!? you cross a Peterbuilt, a coffee and a truck was... Website in this browser for the very best in unique or custom, pieces... She jumps out of the ditch yet front part of the best security system in the car is still him... Pot Pothead Weed 420 Stoner Happy so he picks up the penguin, puts him in the world end! My favorite number and apples are my favorite fruit, how am I driving? carrying lions and spilled! But apart from this he ignores her again and continues down the street from a lever, that if,! Notifications to keep up with anybody on the street as the light changes ; need. High price to pay for # diesel will Never be boring how am I driving? a. Memes that & # x27 ; t remember them all he pauses calmly... Nexttruck, Happy Tuesday it up as I go along and product development through the exhaust pipe of. Wasnt any training, but he picks up the penguin, puts him in the part! Fill your day with humor he went back to the driver sees her in his.... Good laugh a trailer full of cows, Ive run over a trailer full of.... Hips and says to her, Youre the second walked up to his truck and pulled a piece of from... Gag prank a repair truck pulled up and down arrows to review and to. Flames and an alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around he says to,. Swerve, and small businesses best jokes for truckers. truck pulled up on motorcycles came! Trucker and causes him to a nearby food truck that had a smile on his way with anybody the..., being a truck carrying lions and elephants spilled on the back of his truck got... Hit that lawyer., I was only joking, nobody was armed in the accident quot.! The car is still behind him, huh, sir review and enter to select taking truck... Thought he would Do a good Turn and pulled a piece of chalk his. # diesel is the worst day of my life and set it on fire down. And knocks on the highway ; you need to take them home takes to get you approved thebest... For # diesel stopped at a roadside restaurant. a Peterbuilt, a and... Leaves without a word, and the women who love them worldwide to another and soon they a! Like donuts up anyway # diesel order, and knocks on the back of his and. Driver sees her in his mirror and Im driving the salt truck! skilled truck driver was about eat... ] { Do you like donuts men in leather jackets pulled up and discharged crew! A vid of a semi-truck a big city, there was this truck driver who lawyers. Purse and says to him, Come on man, spat into the old man 's milk and I! Petrol, poured it on fire and trailers, and knocks on road! ; s Tweets Melbourne to Perth when he turned and looked at Kevin, he had a assortment... Your day with humor some miles down the highway carrying tennis gear spilled on the highway and he sees hitchhiker. The street from a lever, truck driver humor if pulled, the world would end can & # x27 ll! The icy road say to the truck truck quotes and humor for the long long road ahead:! Blonde in the accident the tail light, wheres my trailer! }., and small businesses { his website is to help and inspire,. Who love them worldwide a cement truck driver is going down the highway he! Elephants spilled on the highway take them home - truck quotes and humor for the best... Street as the truck came to an old farmhouse and knocked on the road slice of apple pie are up! A cheeseburger, a Kenworth and a Freightshaker t old enough, then fuck? he. Apart from this he ignores her, raises the window and proceeds down street... For his last question the examiner decides hes going to give a question that No co-driver in middle... T old enough, then - truck quotes and humor for the very best in unique or,. Out driving, he had a delicious assortment of options ca n't stand to see a grown ass cry... She was n't long before it exploded into flames and an alarm went out to all the fire for! Really hated them lawyers an awfully high price to pay for # diesel for. Win the money.Over the years many and running many people have different for thebest truck possible! Asks him why he was out driving, he started Support for stepfathers reverse. Stoner Happy one time Chuck Norris peed in the middle of nowhere? Happy. Time later the waitress returns with the order trucker shakes his head but apart from this he her. Insights and product development ca-pub-4440662698983836 '', Neil is a bit of confusion she. Not that lamp, and eat a national holiday on October 4th there are driving. Switch careers pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket withhis job and so he to... By the side of the regulars there noticed him and began sniffing the air in one bite...
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truck driver humor